The back-to-school season seems to always start as soon as I start getting into the swing of summer. Some look forward to getting the kids back to school and to fall sports and activities, while others (like me) dread the seemingly endless to-dos that come with it.
Even if your young child has been to school the year before or away at camp during the summer there are still preparations to make. Backpacks, lunch boxes, pencils, and new shoes are the typical preparation everyone thinks about. Unfortunately, there are other ways we need to prepare our kids, that may even be more important.
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Routine Adjustments
The other task people think of when getting ready to go back to school is going to bed earlier. This usually ends up being more wishful thinking than actuality. Ideally, if you can get them to start waking up closer to when they need to wake up for school (if they even sleep in that long) it will hopefully make it easier to transition. However, my children always seem to try to sleep in on school days and wake up early on weekends, so it might be a hassle for no reason.
There are other routine adjustments you may wish to practice before the start of the year. Plan ahead what will help you all get out of the house easier when the time comes and practice that. It may be having breakfast before the kids can run off and play or getting them used to placing their shoes in the right place when they return home. Transitioning from summer to the school year may adjust screen times or when sweets are available. When these things happen without a heads up it can cause more distress for everyone involved.
Using a visual guide can be helpful. In our house, we use these boards so the kids can easily slide the tab when they have accomplished that step. I used a label maker to fill in the specific tasks for each child. A simple drawing or print out works well too!
While you may not be able to adjust things before the school year starts, talking about what adjustments are coming is helpful for even young children.
Independence
While trying to get the kids on a schedule might not be worth it, facilitating and practicing independence is definitely worth it. Typically the big subjects to make sure they are comfortable with is toileting and lunchtime needs.
Toileting
Even children who have been mostly independent in the bathroom may still need some guidance or support. Take time to ensure their bathroom practices are up to par. Help them fill in any gaps they may be lacking. They still may need guidance or the occasional assistance and that’s ok, just encourage them to do as much as they can on their own.
Lunch Time
Before sending them off to school take some time to get them used to using their lunch boxes. It can be great fun to try out their new lunch boxes and all the accessories. Allow them time to explore them a bit then pack them a lunch similar to what you anticipate packing for them when the school year begins and allow them to practice. It’s also good for you to know what they are able to open by themselves and what you will need to send pre-opened.
Lunchtime in school can also go fast and include many distractions. You may wish to practice with a timer or just discuss that the time will go quickly and they need to focus on filling their bellies first.
You can download our Lunch Time Readiness sheet for a few more tips too.
Labeling can be tedious but is very necessary. For plastic and metal items these are the best labels. We used them all year last year, put them through the dishwasher constantly and they are still holding on strong (and you can actually see the names still). For clothing, jackets, hats, lunch bags, and everything else that is made of fabric iron on labels are a great option. Save time and order ones customized with the child’s name. These are great because you can use the iron on them again to take them off once they grow out of the item.
Emotional
With the mad dash to get everything together and ready we may unintentionally ignore the emotional aspect of going back to school. We all may remember the nerves of starting a new year at school. Even if we had familiarity of the school, it was still a new teacher and class of kids.
We can prepare our kids to start the new year by talking about it, reading stories, having something exciting for them to look forward to, and even having something special for them to have with them. This can help ease separation anxiety and other worries (click the link for more).
Talk about it
Sometimes it’s difficult for us parents to talk about things we know will bring up anxiety in our children. However, it is important to allow children to experience those emotions with the safety of their parents to guide them. We can then help them practice the skills they have to use to manage those emotions.
Notice I said to practice, not to teach. We need to teach new skills when they are calm, not already experiencing a heightened emotion. After they have practiced the skills while calm, then they will be ready to practice (with guidance) when those emotions come up.
Read stories
The library is a great resource to find books for a specific need. Utilize your local library and the librarians to find some books that talk about going into the grade your child is going into. You can also look for books about feeling nervous or having worries. Reading books can be a great way to start a conversation around a particular emotion or skill to practice. It’s also a great way to introduce and practice for kids who are a little hesitant to talk about feelings and emotions.
One of our favorites is “There’s a Unicorn in Your Book” by Tom Fletcher (affiliate link). It provides a way to talk about worries and helps kids find a way to manage them.
Looking forward
They may be nervous about starting a new grade but really looking forward to playing a sport or starting back with other lessons (like tennis or music). If that’s the case reminding them of those things they are looking forward to can ease a little bit of the anxiety. It can also give them something to tell potential new friends about when they meet them.
Have a special item to carry
When separating from the primary caregivers to go to a new place it can be scary. What can help a little is having a special item from home to carry. it can be an item associated with a person (like dad’s watch) or even a ‘magical’ object that gives the child special bravery powers. It should be tailored to the specific child and what will most likely help them the most.
Skills to practice checklist
- Toileting independently as possible
- Hand washing
- Opening lunch items
- Cleaning up after lunch (and knowing what’s trash and what’s not)
- Starting conversations with potential new friends
- Introducing self to others (saying name when asked)
- Talking about and identifying feelings
- Able to use calming skills
- Can use positive self-talk (saying nice and calming things to yourself, especially in hard situations)
Please note that none of these things are required. They are simply ideas for skills that may make your child’s school year easier. If they struggle with a particular skill, the teacher can also help to build it over the coming year.
Summary
There are many ways we can prepare our young students for school success. As parents, we can get sidetracked by all the to-dos and lists of things to get. Let’s not allow all these things to draw us away from checking in with our kids and supporting them emotionally as well. Transitions can be hard for everyone but ignoring them can make them harder.