At the new year, it seems everyone around is making resolutions. Usually the same as last year. Goals to stop spending so much money or to lose weight, write a novel, or finally get organized. Then, a month or two later, are usually disappointed when those resolutions fizzle out. Resolutions are inherently flawed from the start because they are often too broad and rarely do people break them down further to make actual goals.
There is also immense social pressure to create a resolution or make some goals for the new year despite whether we may be ready for that or not. The rush and stress of the holidays has just subsided by the new year and you may be exhausted from that. Instead of rushing into the next thing, consider allowing yourself some time to rest. Or, even better, let resting be a resolution.
Common Mistakes in Making New Year’s Resolutions
- Rushing into something new before ready.
- Allowing others to pressure you or choose resolutions for you.
- Too broad or lofty resolutions.
- Unattainable or unrealistic resolutions.
- Failing to make a specific action plan.
- Spiraling after a mistake or slip.
What to do Instead
Rather than making a resolution, consider making a goal. A goal is a desired outcome that wouldn’t otherwise happen without some intervention (1).
When you are ready to start working towards a new goal ensure you are ready to commit to the behavior change necessary to achieve that goal. Because it will take conscious effort to change current behaviors to be able to accomplish any new goal. As humans, we become comfortable in our usual behaviors and very uncomfortable when those need to change. This discomfort works to keep us in our typical habits and routines, making it very challenging to do something different. Making a goal will not save you from discomfort, but may get you started on the right path.
The first step is to make a solid goal. SMART is the acronym commonly used (specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound). Goals should be specific and lay out exactly how they can be achieved. Make sure to include a way to measure your progress and take note of where you are starting from. For a goal of losing weight an obvious measurement may be in how many pounds you weigh but it could also be fitting into a certain size pant. Your goal should also be relevant to your life and achievable. Winning the lottery is not a goal because you cannot control if you win or not. Adding a deadline can help keep you on track. Having something you are working towards can help you achieve your goal. For example, scheduling a 5k may help keep you motivated to run each day.
Action Steps
It is important to break down each goal into manageable steps. If the goal is too big and there are no clear steps to get there a person is more likely to simply give up on it. Many overlook the importance of this part of the goal-making process or create steps that are too big. This can be what leads to abandoning the goal. Download the Achieve the Stubborn Goal ebook for how to break the big goals down into steps that you can take each day and see why this is a vital step.
Goals are difficult. They are supposed to be. The mere act of creating a goal is saying the current state is not enough. That we desire more. To even make a goal is taking a step towards leaving our comfort zone. To follow through and do the daily action is choosing to step outside of the comfortable every day. It takes more than a month to change a habit. Which requires consciously making a different choice, pushing against the comfortable. It’s not going to be easy but it is possible with the right tools and steps.
Slips and Slides
It can be easy to give up after a slip-up or even a big slide backward, however, if the goal is worth achieving it’s worth getting back on the horse for. If you miss a day or even a week it is not the end of the world or even the end of your progress. Even if you gain weight back after losing it you have learned what has worked and what may not have and can continue making progress towards your goal.
While a slip won’t ruin your learning and progress it can make it harder to get back on track the following day. This is simply a bump to overcome. If the slip was a result of your daily needs changing then you can plan accordingly to allow yourself what you need to succeed. For instance, you may get off track from your goal because you have been caring for a sick child. You may not be able to leave for long enough to run but there are other things you could do while home to help keep you on track to run again once you can.
Plan for Rewards
Achieving your goals has built-in natural rewards. Your body releases feel-good chemicals (dopamine and serotonin) when you reach your goals (2). Those can be very rewarding, however, it may be necessary to also plan for external rewards. When we lose weight we will naturally feel better (internal reward). An example of an external reward for losing a certain amount of weight may be to buy a new item of clothing. Not only are we getting something that we want but it also feels good to invest in ourselves. When planning out your goals make sure to build in some rewards along the way to keep you motivated to keep going.
List of Do’s
- Make a clear goal that is SMART (Specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound).
- Break down your goals into objectives and tasks that are manageable.
- Get right back on the horse if you fall off. Or slow down to match your capabilities at that time.
- Build a reward schedule to keep yourself motivated.
New Year’s resolutions have a bad reputation for good reason. Goals are a much better choice when we are ready to make a behavior change. Not just any goal will do though. Ensuring our goals are SMART, broken into manageable chunks, and allowing for rewards along the way can be key to actually accomplishing the goal. Breaking down the goals into the right size chunks is the biggest factor. For a further guide to breaking down your goals download the Achieve the Stubborn Goal ebook and contact us for even more support. Now go achieve that goal!
References
- Berkman, E. T. (2018). The Neuroscience of Goals and Behavior Change. Consulting Psychology Journal, 70(1), 28. https://doi.org/10.1037/cpb0000094 https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5854216/
- Fear, Christopher. The Science of Setting Goals: And How to achieve them. ICS Learn. March 17, 2022 https://www.icslearn.co.uk/blog/study-advice/the-science-of-setting-goals-and-how-to-achieve-them/#:~:text=Dopamine and serotonin in particular,of motivation%2C satisfaction and productivity.